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amuseoffyre:

10andthetardis:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

chaoswolf1982:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

doodlesanddiscord:

thommquackenbush:

jennlyons:

jadelyn:

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)

Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.

He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.

Exit, pursued by a doge.

much run wow 

I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.

ALL OF THIS

Also, the comment ‘Exit, pursued by a doge’ alone makes this worth reblogging :D

Heck, the line that’s based on, “Exit, pursued by bear”, only exists because Shakespeare couldn’t think of any other way to get rid of the character, so opted to have him attacked by a bear, which did not exist in the play before that moment.

He literally made a bear appear out of thin air, just to kill off a character, purely due to writer’s block.

“And then the bear gets him”

“…

…

The

The bear?”

“Yes the bear”

“Will

Will there isn’t a bear in this play

Where did the bear come from”

“A PLACE

And he exits the play pursued by it

It’s happening make me a bear costume”

“it’s happening make me a bear costume” lmao

Shakespeare even wrote Yo Mama jokes, like this delight from Titus Andronicus.

CHIRON: Thou has undone our mother.
AARON: Villain, I have done thy mother.

(via chaos-yet-harmony)

Saturday, January 12, 2019

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(Source: jjjjjjjjjjohn, via gurguliare)

Friday, January 11, 2019

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singelisilverslippers:

irisharchaeology:

Horrible day here in Wexford but not quite as bad as in AD 690 when according to the Irish Annals, ‘it rained a shower of blood and a wolf was heard speaking with a human voice’

#things could always be worse (via @sarapod)

#WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THAT (via @gurguliare)

(via gurguliare)

yourdragonslover:

roachpatrol:

kateordie:

freezecooper:

Ppl be like “ I want an actual male gem, not just Steven.”

Jeez, it’s like having only one character

to represent your whole gender

in a group composed all of another gender

is a bit upsetting huh?

I wonder

what

that’s like

no really

can you 

even imagine

what this lack of representation

MUST 

FEEL 

LIKE

This is the best thing I’ve seen in my entire life

(via theworldofthisperson)

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shoujocowboy:

matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:

mapsontheweb:

Oceans centered world map.

You know, even though I grew up knowing it was possible to around circumnavigate the world via the ocean, I had never seen it from this way before. Holy shit.

#what is this?#a map for whales?

(Source: twitter.com, via because-cur-non)

Thursday, January 10, 2019

silverhawk:

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

@ladyalisette ahem

(via because-cur-non)

zooophagous:

My cat, angry that I won’t let him eat styrofoam and die: Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow!

Me: cry about it you stupid fuck

(via because-cur-non)

Wednesday, January 9, 2019 Wednesday, January 9, 2019

diabeticlesbian:

Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement dir. Susan Muska and Gréta Ólafsdottir (2009)

(Source: diabeticlesbian, via femslashrevolution)

(Source: thenatsdorf, via starlightomatic)

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lefttreephantom:

susiethemoderator:

wafflebloggies:

that first bottle dead ass looks like it’s gonna make you shoot crows out of your hands

the first bottle was also full of liquidized cocaine

So it will make me feel like I can shoot crows out of my hands

(via mynameisriversong)

justslowdown:

Reminder that puppies are babies. They are learning. The human world is VERY confusing for human kids, let alone infants of an entirely different species. They aren’t “assholes” and they don’t do anything to spite you or make you mad. They interact with the world with their mouth because they don’t have hands.

 When playing, they’ll bite you harder than you like because they just don’t know it hurts!  And yes, they’re going to chew on things.

If you aren’t watching a puppy and they chew something you don’t want chewed… that is not a choice they made. They aren’t being naughty. That is the puppy being a baby, exploring the world with the only tool they have.

 Plus… teething is hella uncomfortable. Their mouths hurt! Chewing helps. That’s why you buy them all kinds of chewies, and keep anything else they can fit in their mouths out of reach. That’s your responsibility. 

Confinement areas are so important. Playpens, not just crates. If you aren’t watching your puppy and they chew on a shoe or poop somewhere, that’s on you. Again: that is not a choice they made. If you can’t watch your puppy, put them somewhere safe. Personally, I use x-pens with a crate, a pee pad, a water bowl, and tons of things to satisfy their teething instinct on.

I’ve raised four puppies now and I’ve learned a lot. The most important thing I’ve learned is patience and compassion. Try looking at things from their point of view before you get angry at them.

(via mynameisriversong)

toodrunktofindaurl:

toodrunktofindaurl:

toodrunktofindaurl:

toodrunktofindaurl:

toodrunktofindaurl:

my brother is getting married and i’m so excited to fulfill my destiny as the embarrassing drunk gay sister who flirts with the bride for the entire ceremony

i’m gonna yell “RUN AWAY WITH ME” to her during the vows

there are people out there genuinely worried that I’m gonna steal my brother’s bride away the day of their wedding… i’m laughing. I’ve known her since I was born, we just love annoying the shit out of my brother and this “you picked the wrong sibling” joke has been going on for as long as I can remember. The whole family is in on it. The three of us are super close, she’s always been family. Also we are really bad at romantic weddings (my Mom wore jeans at my Dad’s and hers, signed a bunch of papers and then got blackout drunk), and my brother and his girlfriend probably won’t even have a “real” ceremony, just a celebration between friends and family. I love my brother and he already knows I’m gonna pull some stupid stunt, it’s what we do. His girlfriend is usually the one to initiate these shitty jokes, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one to stop the “ceremony” to say some shit like “WAIT THIS IS THE WRONG SIBLING”. please don’t take any of this seriously lmao

that said, i’m definitely showing up half naked to her bachelorette party as the “surprise stripper” with a sash that says “the sibling your should be marrying” and a shitty plastic tiara

UPDATE: 

1) for people confused about the “I’ve known her since I was born (…) she’s always been family”: She’s the granddaughter of our parents’ neighbors, we all grew up together and my brother and her have been in love since they were babies. He held her hand as she made her first steps, they even have a picture on their wall of the moment before she first tried to get up

2) IT’S OFFICIAL, I’M GONNA BE MY BROTHER’S BEST MAN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST MAN DO? A SPEECH. Everything is going according to plan.

I forgot to update this post. Probably because THESE TWO SNAKES GOT MARRIED BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK, JUST THE TWO OF THEM, AND DIDN’T TELL ANYONE. Aka, there was no ceremony. They just went and signed a piece of paper on their own. Like I said, we aren’t big on Flashy And Romantic Weddings in this family. BUT STILL, I WAS ROBBED OF MY BIG MOMENT.

That said, they still hosted a gigantic party with friends and both families with like 100 people and a good 100 bottles of champagne & 100 more of wine (we’re French, don’t judge us). A lot of food, too. And a lot of food means a lot of napkins. And a lot of napkins means I could spend the entire night writing down my phone number on them and keep obnoxiously slipping them into the bride’s hands, pockets, plate, glass, collar etc while mouthing “call me” and doing the phone hand-motion. Which she obnoxiously answered with a fake-fanning hand motion and a wink every time, btw. My own Mother slipped her a napkin on my behalf at one point, too. My brother ripped every single napkins in half. After roughly 18 times of what was probably the most annoying running gag of all time, my brother finally decided to put me in a headlock.

Anyway, these two are still disgustingly, infuriatingly, madly in love, everyone was piss drunk and we all lived happily ever after,

The End.

(via khaleesi)

philscatwhiskers:

a-french-guardsman:

when will people use the anon function to send passionate, homosexual anonymous love letters

reblog if you want a passionate, homosexual anonymous love letter

(via backpackapplesauce)

mitski-miyawakis:

laughingfish:

andremichaux:

Sandra Oh & Andy Samberg Monologue (x)

Jshdgdisznvxvxjzsja vahausnxbxbsnzhava

THEN

PERISH

(via khaleesi)

grantairesuggestions:

Liberté, égalité, femme-presenting titté

(via khaleesi)